friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
friend: OH MAN
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Kid: why do we have to learn this
Math teacher: because fuck you
person 1: hey did you hear that oxygen and magnesium got together?
person 2: OMg
During a math test
Me: my answer = 23
Answer choices: 17, 19, 26, 36.
Me: well 26 is closer to 23, so that must be the answer.